MARQUEE MATCHUP: Royale W/Cheese VS. Purple Hurricanes

12 fans die in 'Explosive Offense' stunt

Tweeted by: the Ochocinco News Network***

Coach Cam has been know for his explosive offenses since the inception of the league in 2008. As the leagues all-time highest scoring team, he has a skill for bringing in the "home run hitting" players and mixing them with the steady big scores of Aaron Rodgers and Andre Johnson. His prolific scoring has landed him in the playoffs each of the three years this league has existed, the only team to have done so. In other words, Coach Cam is consistently scoring fantasy dreams.

This past season, Coach Cam may have met his rival with the rebuilt Purple Hurricanes, led by the masterful managerial skills of Coach Pierson. Last season Coach-P was met with a chorus of boos with the keeper selection of Hakeem Niks and the drafting Darren McFadden. All skeptics were 'caned' when the team went on to lead the league in regular season scoring and record. They then went on to beat the Masons in the Blue Ribbon Bowl, a moment Coach-J called, 'whimsical' and 'like fairies and sprites doing a dance above my head.'

To amp up the excitement for this weeks action, the two coaches combined forces to put on a fireworks display that would 'blow you up like how our scoring blows other teams up.' The event was dubbed a 'fan appreciation blow up'. Blowing up they did, as they used a dangerous amount of fireworks after which chaos ensued, killing 12 fans and injuring 44.

"All I remember is Coach-J yelling, 'Who likes explosive scoring,'" said one of the injured, "He then stood behind a protective shield with Coach Cam as they detonated the explosives... oh, the horror... I can't find my wife... no one knows where she is..."

"Coach Cam said he put a firework out there for every point his team has scored in the past three plus years," said another victim, "Good lord... that was like... 4,000 fireworks in an area no bigger than a front yard... a fan next to me gave me a look of fear... then his head was blown off... and all of the carnage... this is a day I never want to relive."

When asked for comment, Coach Cam was passed out on a couch. Coach-J made himself available and stated, "Yeah... our bad... we honestly didn't consider how many fireworks we were using... or the danger behind it... I mean, we did because we got ourselves a protective shield... but shit happens... sometimes you get steam rolled by a high octane offense in this life... AM I RIGHT!?!?"

BLOG PREDICTION: PURPLE HURRICANES over the EDDIE ROYALE w/ CHEESE 145-137

***NOT ACTUALLY tweeted by the Ochocinco News Network