AFTER HARD KNOCKS, COUNSELOR STRUGGLES & FALLS TO HURRICANES

Wrtitten By: Rick Mirer, Editor

Seattle, WA- After making many bold predictions all off-season during the filming of HARD KNOCKS, The Counselor's championship hopes were crushed with a 136-103.5 trouncing at the hands of the Purple Hurricanes.

Counsil Mocks COUNSELOR Fans after a Week 1 Loss

“We can be Blue Ribbon champions, but not like this. We won’t win it! We’ll sit back and say, ‘Why didn’t we do it?’ We didn’t do it because where were our f**king priorities? How about our offense? When are we going to put it together? Can we not run the ball down their throats every snap? Can we not throw it any time we want to f**king throw it? Let’s make sure we play like the f**king COUNSELOR! And not some f**king slap dick team, like the Purple Hurricanes. That’s what I want to see. Do we understand what the f**k I want to see? Let’s go eat a goddamn snack," Richard Counsil spewed from the post-game podium.

The Counselor has been quoted in several publications as wanting to be the "Most Improved" team in the league, and he is definitely setting the bar low enough to jump over later.  The Purple Hurricanes had a strong effort on offense Hakeem Nicks putting up 25 pts and Darren McFadded 20pts.  Much of this came because of the highly publicized holdout and then signing of reigning Blue Ribbon League Top DB Charles Woodson

Woodson re-signed 15 minutes before the game with the Hurricanes, presumably after seeing Coach Counsil on Hard Knocks.  “Hey, guys, we don’t have Woodson in this building right now. Does it matter that Woodson is not here? Goddamn, he’s pretty f**king good. He’s pretty good, OK? But you know what guys? It isn’t about one guy, its about leading the league in f**ing wins.  What do I want?"  Richard said "I wanna lead the league in F****** WINS!!"

The Hurricanes attacked Woodson early and often to see if he was in fantasy game shape.  Woodson scored 7.5 points...a far cry from his MVP point levels of 2009.

"How are we going to win?  We'll say we know we're better than you, we don't give a f*** if you know it or not, we...we don't give a s*** if you give us your best game, were gonna give you our best game and we're gonna beat the f*** out of ya," said Counsil when asked how things will be different in Week 2.

The Counselor (0-1) take their lofty expectations to Rainier Valley to play the defending champion Felons (1-0).