Despite rebounding from 0-2 starts to record their teams first victories, three coaches remain in the sniper's target. Regardless of their respective teams exploding on the scene for 100-plus point efforts, critics are sticking to the game-plan... pull the trigger. From Goodview to Mount Baker to the Counselor Dome, fans and reporters are still grumbling about managerial moves which must be made in an effort to "win now."
In Goodview, coach Trick Danneker has always been known for fast starts, but now finds himself in unfamiliar territory. He is in the land of 1-2 and looking up at the Felons. Gone is the happiness of the days when the team started consecutive years 7-0. First, there was the Herschel Walker-esque trade of Tony Romo to a division opponent. Fans questioned the move from the beginning and have been given even more fuel now with Forsett sitting on the waiver wire. The other piece to that puzzle, Shonn Greene, is producing at the rate of a mentally challenged sloth and finds himself competing for time with Cedric Benson and an equally average running back from Denver who doesn't deserve to be mentioned.
Second, Goodview's offensive coordinator, Tim Gunn, is a head coaching candidate who is primed to mount the position like a gay gorilla mounts the Empire State Building. He is the genius behind the slightly above average score producing "Run-and-Gunn Offense" and was an advocate for keeping the Top 5 QB (Romo) over two wild card running back options, one of whom is competing for time against a FUTURE HALL OF FAME (Ladanian Tomlinson)!!! This raises the question, will Trick get it from behind by Tim Gunn?
High atop Mount Baker, coach Chris Bell was one drive away from the championship trophy and now finds himself a long drive from anywhere near the trophy. At 1-2, the Soup Can have had a tough start and an even tougher schedule, facing all five playoff teams in the first five games. Regardless, fans want results and the running game is being taken over the fire. What was once the heart of their playoff run last season is now their achilles heel. The two headed monster of MJD and Jonathan Stewart has grown ugly...to the point that 12 beers wouldn't make it look pretty. Rumors from Mount Baker say Bell is being asked to not wear a headset, to not interfere, and to allow his Offensive Coordinators, the Doobie Brothers, to run a more balanced offense.
When asked for comment, Bell said, "Yeah, the Doobs will probably open up the run game even more. They are a prolific talent, well accomplished and they've been asked to sing at Pro Bowls...so you have to pay attention to them. It will be a challenge for our friendship and we’ll have to hug it out when we have a chance. But they're outstanding... they keep on runnin'."
In the sparse confines of the Counselor Dome, Richard Council was unable to be reached for comment because he has, yet again, switched to another pay by the minute phone. Him being on the bubble is confusing to some because this is a fantastic start by Counselor fan standards and many were found dancing in the streets with Camel Packs full of Gin and Tonic after their Week 3 win.
"We're number one," yelled one fan.
No, you're not. But maybe one of these coaches still has time to right the ship and be number one by the season's end.
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